Not so perfect
by XxxGleek ForeverxxX
Summary: This is a PezBerry fanfic. Faberry friendship. Hope you like it. Mentions of self harm and eating disorder.
1. Chapter 1

**Not so perfect**

When Rachel Berry got out of her car, she was greeted by cheerios. There were about five. Surprisingly the Unholy Trinity weren't among looked for a way to escape but to no avail. She held her breath and closed her eyes. At that moment icy cold liquid was thrashed at her from all directions. It was as if she was being bitch slapped by an ice burg. She could hear a crowd forming, laughing at her. She quickly mad her way through it holding her head high, to the washroom.

She locked the door to prevent anyone from coming in. There, her back against the door, she collapsed on the floor crying. As she sat there, Rachel had a sudden urge to take the pain away. She quickly got up and looked through her bag. She felt the object and picked it up, softly running her hands along it. She slowly lifted up her sleeve to reveal a pattern of scars lined up, some deeper than pressed the razor on her arm, and watched the blood slowly trickle down her it. She sat there, transfixed by the sight before her.A few minutes later she got up and cleaned herself up, changing into new clothes. When she had finished she made her way out of the washroom.

You see Rachel Berry wasn't as perfect as everyone thought she was. She had a deep dark secret that no one would find out. Or so she thought.

* * *

Quinn, Santana and Brittany made their down the busy corridor. Instantly, people parted for them like the sea. Everyone knew not to get in their way. As they made their way to the choir room, the say the Glee kids in their usual seats. No one noticed the tiny diva in the corner. Well Santana did. The trio took their normal seats. As Santana made eye contact with Rachel, she notice the lack of sparkle in them. She was about to approach her when Mr Shue came in. He was late as usual.

"Well guys as you know, sectionals isn't until a few months so we have to prepare." he began "Does anyone have anything they want to preform?"

All eyes were on Rachel. She slowly lifted her head up.

"Umm, no thank you Mr Shue" she whispered

"Are you sure?" he asked a bit surprised.

Rachel nodded and the lesson went on. She was quiet for the rest of it. Only Santana noticed. The lesson soon ended and it was lunch time

* * *

As the cheerios lined up, Brittany decided to speak.

"San, can we sit at the Glee table today?" she asked.

"Ummm, i'm not sure Britt."

"Please Sanny" At that moment Santana knew she had to give in. After all, who could say no to Brittany's adorable pout?

"Fine"

"Yay!" squealed Brittany. She skipped all the way to the table and sat down. Everyone was busy chatting away. Rachel looked down at her food as if it was some repulsive thing. Santana made a mental not to confront the diva about it later. A few minutes later, she got up and excused herself. She rushed out of the cafeteria. Santana followed her.

* * *

Rachel went into the washroom and pulled her razor out. She quickly rolled up her sleeve and started cutting. Four cuts later she sat there and watched her blood drip on the floor.

* * *

Santana entered the washroom and found Rachel sitting on the floor, her arm bloody, with a razor in her hand...

* * *

**Well guys this is my first ever fanfic. Plzz review. If you don't like it i'll stop, if you do i'll carry on.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Santana stood there, unable to speak. Rachel hadn't noticed her yet. Questions ran through her mind. She needed answers, and she needed them now!

"Rachel, what have you done? Santana asked. Startled by the sudden company, Rachel's head shot up. She stared at Santana, her eyes wide. Unable to explain, she got up and started to clean herself up. Santana stood there, observing Rachel's every move. When she had finished, she was about to make her way out but Santana grabbed her wrist. A jolt of pain ran through Rachel's arm, causing her to slightly flinch. Noticing this, Santana dropped her wrist. Again Rachel tried to leave, but the latina quickly moved in front of her to block the exit.

Sighing Rachel said "What do you want Santana?"

"I want to know why." Anger bubbled up in Rachel

"YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW WHY?" she was shouting now.

Shocked at the diva's new found anger, Santana just nodded. She had to admit, she was a bit frightened but was prepared to stand her ground.

"I'm in the Glee club but they just want me for my voice. I am constantly tormented by everyone in this school! My dad's don't want me because they are always traveling!" Hot angry tears were threatening to make their way down Rachel's face.

"Someone can only take so much pain, Santana, this is the only way I can cope." Santana didn't know how to respond. Rachel took this as a sign to carry on.

"This is the only way I can escape anything. It makes me feel like I'm in control of something in my life."

Rachel couldn't stop the tears anymore. At this moment Santana decided to speak.

"Rach, I'm so sorry" she said softly. She slowly started to walk closer to her but was stopped.

"Don't" Rachel said. She had intended it to be strong and fierce but Santana could see her trembling. There Rachel quickly made her way out of the washroom.

All day, Rachel couldn't stop thinking about Santana. The fact that someone knew about her cutting was enough to make her stop breathing. Fortunately she only had one more lesson to get through. History.

She entered the classroom and froze. There sitting in the seat next to her was the one and only Santana Lopez. She took a deep breath and made her way to her seat, completely shutting out Santana.

The lesson was long and boring. Santana almost had a heart attack when someone tapped her on her shoulder.

"Miss Lopez, if my lesson is boring, feel free to leave." Said her history teacher.

"Sorry" she mumbled her cheeks as red as a tomato. Rachel found this amusing and tried to stifle a laugh. Santana glared at her causing her to erupt with laughter.

"What's so funny" asked the teacher.

"Umm nothing" It was Rachel's time to blush. This made Santana smile.

Later, Santana passed a not to Rachel. It read: We need to talk.

No we don't she passed back a not.

My house or yours?

Santana we don't need to talk.

Okay yours. Do you have a car?

Yes but I walked to school today. Why?

I'm driving you.

Rachel sighed, knowing she couldn't argue with the cheerio.

When the bell went, Rachel got into Santana's car and they drove to Rachel's house. Both girls knew that it was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

Not so perfect

When they reached Rachel's house, they got out of the car and Rachel opened the door. They went to Rachel's room and sat down.

"So what was it that you wanted to talk about?" Rachel said. She self consciously pulled down her sleeves.

"Roll up your sleeves." Santana said

"I will do no such thing Santana"

"Roll it up, or I'll roll it up for you" said Santana.

Sighing Rachel knew that she had no choice. She slowly rolled up her sleeves to reveal a number of scars on her arm, some old and some new. Santana went to Rachel and sat down. She took her arm and studied the cuts. All of a sudden, Rachel found her shoes very interesting.

"How many times do you cut in a week?" Santana asked. There was no reply. She shifted her head to see Rachel, her face soaked with tears, staring at the floor.

"Hey" Santana said softly.

"Rachel look at me please. Pleaded Santana. Rachel didn't respond. Santana gently lifted up her head to meet her eyes. They looked dark and gloomy.

"I promise to help you get through this, okay?"

Rachel nodded. Santana rapped her arms around her. Rachel quickly sunk into her and began to sob.

Thirty minutes later, Rachel began to quiet down. Santana chose this moment to speak.

"Rachel, let's go eat dinner and then we'll carry on. Okay?"

"I'm not hungry, but you can go and eat if you are."

"Rachel you didn't eat lunch so your going to eat now." Santana said sternly.

"I'm not hungry." repeated Rachel.

"Berry, I will feed you myself if I have to" threatened Santana. Knowing when she was beaten, Rachel got up and headed to the kitchen.

* * *

Rachel stared down at her sandwich. She knew that she couldn't eat it so she just sat there.

"Berry you have to eat something." No response.

"Do you want me to feed you like a two year old?" Still no response.

"Okay, that's it" said Santana. She took a chair and dragged it so it was facing Rachel. She sat on the chair, halved the sandwich and lifted Rachel's head up.

"Take a bite Rach" she said. Rachel shook her head.

"Please." coaxed Santana

"Mmmhmm" replied Rachel, making sure to keep her mouth firmly shut.

"Please" Santana tried again. Finally, Rachel opened her mouth and took a bite.

"Good girl." Said Santana "Now finish the rest while I clean up."

Reluctantly, Rachel ate the rest of the sandwich.

After both Rachel and Santana finished. They went back to Rachel's room. The moment Rachel had been dreading. Her eyes were laced with fear as she stood in her room.

* * *

"Okay tiny, let's get back to business"

"I'm not that small" huffed Rachel.

"If you say so" chuckled Santana. They both sat opposite each other on Rachel's bed, cross legged.

"Rachel, how often do you cut in a week?" asked Santana.

Rachel just stared at her hands as if they were the most interesting things in the world. Santana moved towards her and took Rachel's hands in hers. The diva lifted her head up to meet Santana's eyes. Tears slowly went down Rachel's face. Santana gently wiped them with her thumbs.

"Rach I need to know" Santana said softly.

Rachel vigorously shook her head. She started to back away from Santana until her back hit the wall. Santana went to Rachel and placed her on her lap. She whispered soothing words into Rachel's ear, to prevent her from trembling. She immediately relaxed into her. When she had calmed down Santana spoke up.

"Sweetie, are you going to tell me now?" she questioned.

"I….I do it almost every day." Whispered Rachel.

"Okay that's a start" said Santana. "How often do you dads travel?" Rachel was quiet.

"Please Rach"

"About two to three months and when they do come back, they only stay for a week" she replied

"Okay, we can carry on tomorrow" Rachel just nodded. They sat there for a few minutes until Rachel looked up.

"Do you want to go down stairs and watch a movie?" she asked.

"Sure" answered Santana. They both made their way down stairs and Santana went to pick a movie. The phone rang and Rachel went to answer it.

* * *

"Hello?" she said

"Hi Rachel. It's Leory." He said

"Hi daddy. How is your business trip going?"

"It's going great sweetie but me and dad will have to stay here another month. Is that okay with you?" Rachel froze.

"Sweetie?"

"Umm, yeah that would be fine. Anyways I have to go now, bye. Love you."

She slammed the phone down and ran upstairs.

"Rachel, what's going on?" Santana asked. She ran upstairs into Rachel's room and saw the bathroom door closed.

"Shit" she mumbled. She tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Rachel, open the door!" Santana yelled. No response.

"Rachel, I will bring back up is I have to." No answer.

"Okay. Don't tell me that I didn't warn you."

Santana got her phone and dialed up a familiar number.

* * *

**Okay. My third chapter. Hope you like it.**


	4. Chapter 4

Not so perfect

"Where were you Santana? You know you missed practice. Coach is going to kill you." said Quinn

"I'm at Rachel's house."

"Why?"

"I'll explain later. Is Brittany there?"

"Yes"

"Okay, can you two go and buy bandages and then come to Berry's house?"

"Umm okay but I need an explanation when I get there"

"Okay, bye"

"See ya"

* * *

Santana put the phone down and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Rach, open the door please"

Still no reply

"Rachel Babra Berry, if you do not open the door I will knock it down myself!"

She heard a click and opened the door. There she found Rachel, curled up in a ball, sobbing quietly. Her arm had blood dripping from it.

"Rachel" Santana said softly. She picked up Rachel and placed her on the toilet seat. Then the bell rang.

"I'll be right back. Don't move" said Santana. She ran downstairs and opened the door.

"Hi San" said Brittany

"Hey Britt" replied Santana

"Okay, I want answers" said Quinn handing her the bandages.

"Wait, I'll explain when i'm done. Stay here" she said.

She ran upstairs and found Rachel right where she had left her.

"Okay Rachel, give me your arm" Rachel shook her head.

"Do you want me to call Quinn and Brittany up here?"

"No" said Rachel

"Then give me your arm."

Rachel reluctantly gave Santana her arm. "This is going to sting a little" warned Santana. And it did. Rachel yelped in pain. Then Santana bandaged her arm.

"Q and B are down stairs, Do you want to tell them or should I" asked Santana. She didn't answer.

"I will then. And don't think that we are not going to talk about what just happened " Rachel nodded and got ready for bed.

"Do you have any clothes I can borrow? I'm staying the night" Rachel gave her clothes and went to bed without another word.

* * *

Brittany and Quinn were waiting down stairs.

"What the hell is going on S" asked Quinn

"Look, Rachel's just going through something"

"That is..?"

"I asked you to bring bandages. Rachel always wears long sleeves. You put the pictures together." Quinn's breath got caught in her throat

"No she wouldn't" said Quinn in disbelief.

"Yes she would. I found out today at lunch time"

"I knew it" said Brittany

"What are you talking about B?" questioned Santana

"I knew about Rachel's cutting since last week. When I asked her about it she denied everything."

"So what are we going to do?" said Quinn

"I don't know but you two should go. We'll talk about this tomorrow"

"Okay bye S" said Quinn.

"Bye Sanny" said Brittany.

Santana went up stairs to the guest room to change. She woke up in the middle of the night to hear Rachel crying.

* * *

**So this is my fourth chapter. hope you like it.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while.**

* * *

Santana got up and went to Rachel's room. She opened the door and found the diva on her bed sweating and breathing heavily as tears streamed down her face. Santana approached Rachel and hugged her. Rachel hung on to her and began to cry. When she had calmed down Santana spoke.

"Baby girl, do you want to talk about it?" Rachel shook her head.

"Okay. Do you want me to stay with you?" Rachel nodded. After a few moments of silence Rachel was asleep. Santana soon followed her.

Santana woke up and found Rachel cuddled up in her. She carefully got out of bed and set to work on finding all of Rachel's razors and threw out. When she had finished her quest(which had surprisingly taken longer than she thought she would have)she woke up Rachel.

"Come on sleeping beauty, time to wake up."

"5 more minutes" responded Rachel sleepily.

"Sweetie, come on you have to get up."

Rachel pouted and Santana swore that it was the most adorable thing she'd ever seen. Well next to Brittany's pot.

'Fine" huffed Rachel .

She got up and made her way to the bathroom. She looked everywhere for her razors but couldn't find them. Realization washed over her and was soon replaced by anger. She marched into her bedroom to find Santana waiting on her bed. Here we go Santana thought.

"Give them back "she spat.

"No" answered Santana calmly.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I care about you"

"No you don't. You already torment me in school, isn't that enough?" Guilt and regret washed over Santana.

"Baby girl, I'm really sorry for all the thing I've done to you and I swear I will make it up to you but you can't keep on doing this to yourself."

"I have every thing under control." Rachel's harsh tone made Santana's blood run cold but she shook it off.

"Oh really?" she began "Apart from yesterday, when was the last time you ate?"

Silence…..

"I thought so"

"Please give them back. I need them."

"I'm sorry but I can't."

Rachel stormed out of her room and went to check in her school bag. They were still there. She breathed a sigh of relief. Santana came downstairs. Rachel quickly put her razors away. She faced Santana, who had a puzzled look on her face.

"Fine don't give me my razors back. I don't care"

Santana was confused but decided to let it go.

"Come on I'll make breakfast" said Santana. Rachel slowly walked into the kitchen and sat down. Santana placed a bowl of cereal in front of her. Rachel just sat there staring at it.

"Rach, you have to eat something."

No response.

"Am I going to have to feed you again?"

Sighing Rachel ate a spoonful of her cereal. When Santana wasn't looking she quickly threw her breakfast away. When Santana turned around she saw Rachel's bowl empty.

"You've finished already?"

Rachel couldn't meet Santana's eyes.

"You threw it away didn't you?" No response.

"Come on. Your off the hook this time" After they set off for school.

* * *

"Hi Sanny, hi Rachel" greeted Brittany.

"Hi S, hi Rachel" said Quinn. Rachel just stood there, staring at the ground.

"S can you wait with B at the reception please?"

"Ummm okay?"

Santana walked away with Brittany leaving Quinn with the broken diva. She sat on the stairs of the front entrance and waited for Rachel to follow. When she had sat down, Quinn spoke.

"Rachel sweetie, look at me." Rachel carried on staring at the ground and nervously played with her hands. Quinn gently lifted up her head so she could meet her gaze.

"I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to you. I don't expect you to forgive me but I swear if I had known, I would never have done it."

"I forgave you and Santana a long time ago Quinn but why did you do it? I offered you my friendship but you rejected it. I'm sorry about Finn. I didn't mean to take him away from you"

"Sweetie I know your sorry. I was jealous. I was a bitch. But everything we said to you isn't true. Your beautiful and talented."

"It's okay Quinn. You don't have to lie to me."

Quinn felt her heart shatter into pieces.

"Rach you have to believe me when I say that it isn't true. And you can't keep doing this to yourself."

"I need it"

"No you don't. Your better than this." Tears made their way down Rachel's face. Quinn wiped them away.

"And I promise that we will help you get through this"

Rachel nodded and Quinn rapped her in a hug. Rachel tightly held onto Quinn. After that they both went to meet up with Santana and Brittany.

* * *

As the four of them walked down the corridor people stared at them. Santana and Quinn glared at them. When Rachel got to her locker she was immediately slushed. Santana saw red and slammed the jock against the lockers. A shocked Rachel ran to the toilet.

"Listen here. Rachel Berry is off limits. If anyone of you so much as touches her, you'll have to deal with me and Quinn"

"And me" said Puck.

"B go to class. Q go and find Rachel. I need to do something."

"Kk, bye Sanny"

"Okay S"

Quinn went into the washroom and found Rachel.

* * *

**Well hope you enjoyed it. Please review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Well here's my next chapter.**

* * *

"Sweetie, give me the razor." Rachel stared at her and took a step back.

"Please Rach." The diva shook her head and backed away into the corner. Quinn quickly went up to her, grabbed the razor and threw it in the sink. When she turned around she saw Rachel curled up in a ball, quietly sobbing.

"Rachel…."said Quinn sighing. She crouched down and hugged her, whispering soothing word to her. When she calmed down she spoke.

"Sweetie, lets get you cleaned up." Rachel nodded. Quinn sat her on the stool and was about to clean her up when Santana came in.

"What the fuck happened Q?"Questioned Santana.

"Rachel cut herself."

"How the hell is that possible? I threw every razor away."

"Are you sure you checked everywhere?" While Santana stood there in deep thought, Quinn cleaned Rachel up. When they had finished, Santana spoke.

"Baby girl, where did you get the razor from?"asked Santana. Rachel sat there.

"Sweetie we really need to know. "said Quinn. All Rachel had to do was look at her bag.

"Quinn. Get. Her. Bag" Rachel shot up and grabbed her bag, holding it against her, trembling.

"Rachel, give me the bag" said Quinn. Rachel took a step back hitting the wall.

"Q, take the bag"

Using all of her strength, the blonde yanked the bag out of Rachel's grasp. She checked in it to discover 7 razors. She was about to throw them away when Rachel spoke.

"Please don't"

"I'm sorry Rach but it's for your own good" and with that she threw them away. Anger bubbled up in Rachel. Who was Quinn to tell her what was good for her? she began to scream, kick and punch while Santana held her.

"You can go now Q!" shouted Santana. Quinn left, leaving Santana to deal with Rachel.

"Rachel sweetie calm down. It's going to be okay" Santana whispered in Rachel's ear. Rachel immediately collapsed into Santana. They both sat there for a few minutes. Then Santana spoke.

"When we get to your house, we need to talk okay?" Rachel nodded. Santana kissed her forehead and the both walked out of the washroom.

* * *

At lunch time Santana, Brittany, Rachel and Quinn sat at the Glee table. Rachel, yet again, sat there staring at her food.

"Sweetie, are you going to eat your food?"Quinn whispered in her ear.

"I'm not hungry" mumbled Rachel.

"You have to eat something" said Quinn.

"No" said Rachel as she got up. Santana gave Quinn a questioning gaze but the blonde ignored it. She grabbed Rachel's lunch and followed her all the way to the auditorium, where Rachel was sat on the stage. Quinn walked up to her.

"Rach, am I going to have to feed you"

"I'm not hungry so fuck off and leave me the hell alone" growled Rachel

"That's bullshit Rachel and we both know that" snarled Quinn.

"Just go" said Rachel close to tears.

"No" said Quinn.

Just then Santana and Brittany walked in.

"Rachy what's wrong. I don't like it when your sad" said Brittany.

"I'm fine Brittany" said Rachel putting on her best fake smile. Unfortunately, Brittany saw right through it.

"Q, what's going on?" said Santana.

"I'm trying to get Rachel to eat lunch." replied Quinn.

Santana sighed. She knew it was a great struggle to get the diva to eat something. She had to find out why Rachel refused to eat.

"Q, B can you leave. I need to talk to Rachel. We'll see you in Glee."

"Okay. Bye Rachy, bye Sanny" said Brittany.

"Bye S, bye Rach" said Quinn handing Santana Rachel's lunch

"Bye" said Santana.

She walked on stage and went to sit next to Rachel. Santana sat her on her lap and Rachel relaxed into her. they sat there for a few minutes until Santana spoke.

"Baby girl, can I ask you a question?" Santana felt Rachel nod.

"Why don't you eat?" As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt Rachel stiffen.

"Rach?"

"I – I need to loose weight "said Rachel. She started playing with her hands.

"No you don't Rachel. Your perfect the way you are. Someone's been telling you this, haven't they?" Rachel sat there quietly.

"Who was it?" Santana asked, anger bubbling up inside her. Rachel shook her head and tried to get up but Santana tie tend her grip around her.

"It… it was Finn. When he broke up with me, he said that I was a stupid whore and that I was fat. He's right though." Whispered Rachel.

Tears made their way down the diva's face. Santana rubbed soothing circles on her back. Rachel felt a spark but decided to ignore it.

"Rachel you know he's wrong. Your beautiful. I'm gonna go all Lima heights on his sorry little ass, he won't even know what hit him."

Rachel tried to stifle a giggle, but failed miserably.

"You should smile more often, it suits you" Rachel looked up and blushed. Then the bell rang. It was time for Glee.

* * *

When Rachel and Santana went into the choir room, Rachel took her usual seat at the back. Quinn and Brittany sat in front of her while Santana sat next to her. members of the club came in one by one and gave them strange looks, but they ignored them.

"What do you think is going on?" Mercedes whispered to Kurt.

"I have no idea" Kurt whispered back.

Then Mr Shue came in. The lesson went on as usual. Santana stared daggers at Finn. He became uncomfortable. After Glee she confronted him.

"Who the hell do you think you are telling Rachel that she's fat?" she spat.

"It's none of your business Satan" He snarled.

Santana was about to punch him, but was held back by someone. Rachel.

"Don't. He isn't worth it" she said.

"Your right" said Santana. "It's your lucky day"

They both went to her car and set of to Rachel's house. When they got there, Brittany and Quinn were waiting.

"What took you guys so long?" questioned Quinn.

"Everything will be explained" said Santana

"Okay?" said Quinn.

They went into Rachel's house and into her room. They all sat on her bed.

"So were do we begin…?"

* * *

**So sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'll try to get the next chapter typed up as soon as possible.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

* * *

The room was so silent that a pin drop could be heard. Rachel desperately wanted to disappear. She would do anything to avoid this conversation. The diva realized she couldn't run anymore. It was time to face the music.

"Rachel do you want to talk about your nightmare first?" asked Santana. Rachel just sat there.

"Please Rachy" said Brittany.

"E-everyone was screaming and shouting at me. They were calling me nasty names. Then I was abandoned." Her voice broke slightly at the end.

"Come here" Santana said softly. Rachel crawled to Santana and sat on her lap, hiding her face in Santana's neck. Santana started to play with Rachel's hair.

"You two are the most adorable things I've ever seen" said Brittany. Santana and Rachel blushed.

"Is there anything going on between you two?" said Quinn.

"No" said Santana and Rachel at the same time,"But I wish there was" Rachel added quietly so no one heard. Silence filled the room again. The question Rachel had been dreading was going to be asked in a mo-

"Baby girl, why did you cut yesterday?" asked Santana.

Rachel shook her head and snuggled deeper into Santana.

"Sweetie we need to know" said Quinn. Rachel just carried on shaking her head and was about to get up when Santana tightened her grip around her.

"Please" Santana's tone made Rachel shiver.

"The phone call was from my dads. They said they had to stay for another month" whispered Rachel. Tears streamed down her face making Santana's neck wet. They sat there until Rachel calmed down.

"Can we go and eat dinner now?" said Brittany.

"Okay" said Quinn. Santana felt Rachel tense up. Brittany and Quinn, noticing something was wrong, turned to face the pair. Santana sighed.

"Come on Rach" said Santana getting up.

"I'm not hungry" mumbled Rachel snuggling deeper into Santana, preventing her from getting up.

"You didn't eat breakfast. You didn't eat lunch. So your going to eat now" said Santana sternly.

"You're not the boss of me" spat Rachel as she darted up and locked herself in the bathroom. The Unholy Trinity were instantly at the door.

"Rachy please come out"

"Sweetie open the door"

"Baby girl come out"

Inside the bathroom, Rachel stood there staring at her reflection in the mirror. Why did she have to be so ugly? No wonder Finn broke up with her. Hatred towards herself bubbled up inside her. she clenched her fists and punched the mirror. It shattered to pieces and fell on the floor. Rachel soon followed and curled up into a ball, sobbing.

* * *

All of them, hearing something smash, began to panic.

"Baby girl, are you ok?" asked Santana. There was no response.

"Rachel Barbra Berry. Open the door right now!" shouted Brittany. The two other cheerios just stared at her shocked from her sudden outburst. They all heard a click and opened the door to find Rachel curled up in a ball, quietly sobbing. Santana went in and picked up the diva. Then she carried her to the room and placed her on the bed. The Latina sat next to her and rapped Rachel in a hug. The broken diva let a sob escape her mouth and tightly held onto her. When Brittany and Quinn had finished cleaning up the mess, they came in the room and sat on Rachel's bed. The room was silent. Rachel kept on murmuring 'Please don't make me eat' while Santana held her.

"Baby girl, you don't have to eat if you don't want to, ok?" said Santana. Rachel nodded.

"Don't let what Finnesa say get to you. He's wrong." This earned a few questioning gazes.

"What about Finn?" asked Quinn.

"He said that Rachel was fat and some other mean things" said Santana.

"I'm gonna give him a slushie shower he'll never forget" Brittany's tone made everyone slightly intimated by her.

"Sweetie don't listen to him. You're far from fat. I can't believe I dated that jerk." Said Quinn.

"Yeah Rae, your beautiful. Me and Quinn think so. Especially Sanny." Rachel blushed and Santana glared at Brittany. Brittany batted her eyelashes innocently. "What?" she asked. Santana just carried on glaring. Then Rachel yawned.

"Come on, it's time for bed" said Santana.

"Mmmhmm. Not sleepy" said Rachel. She yawned again.

"Baby girl, come on, I'll tuck you in" said Santana. She tucked her in and kissed her cheek.

"Night sleeping beauty" whispered Santana because Rachel had already fallen asleep.

"Good night Rach" whispered Quinn.

"Night Rachy" whispered Brittany. The trio went into the hallway and Santana closed Rachel's bedroom door.

"I swear when I get my hands on man-child, he's going to seriously regret what he said to Rachel" growled Quinn.

"What are we going to do with Rachy? She has to eat Sanny" said Brittany.

"Don't worry about that Britt, I'll talk to her." said Santana.

"So how long have you liked her?" asked Quinn.

"W-what?" said Santana, caught off guard.

"How long have you liked Rachel?" said Quinn.

"I don't like her" said Santana, a blush slowly creeping on her face.

"Oh please S, you're in denial about your feelings for Rachel" said Quinn.

"I need to pee. I'll be right back" said Brittany. She sprinted downstairs.

"What like you and B" shot Santana.

"What are you talking about?" asked a flustered Quinn.

"Oh you know what I'm talking about." Knowing that the latina wouldn't drop the subject until she admitted her feelings for the other blonde, Quinn said "Okay maybe I do like B I mean who wouldn't?"

"I knew it" said Santana triumphantly.

"You can't say that you don't have feelings for Rachel" stated Quinn.

"Fine, I guess I do like her a bit" said Santana.

"Then go and tell her" said Quinn.

"Tell who what?" asked Brittany making her presence known.

"Nothing B" Said Santana quickly.

"Okay" said Brittany.

"It's getting late. You and B should head home but you can sleep over tomorrow if you want" said Santana.

"Yay!" squealed Brittany. "Come on Quinn, let's go"

"Have a _**great **_night" Santana said to Quinn who glared at her. luckily, Brittany didn't catch on.

"Bye Sanny" said Brittany.

"Bye S" said Quinn.

"See ya" said Santana.

* * *

When they had gone Santana went into Rachel's room and lied down on the bed. Rachel stirred in her sleep.

"Tana?" she murmured sleepily.

"Yes?" asked Santana.

"Goodnight" said Rachel snuggling into Santana.

"Goodnight baby girl" Santana whispered and they both fell asleep.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Please review and feel free do add any advice.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well here's the next chapter. Enjoy. Sorry for not updating. I really have no excuse. Think of this as a late Christmas present... But anyways Happy New Year everyone!**

* * *

**Chapter8**

Quinn was woken up by a song she couldn't recognize that was playing from her phone. She swore under her breath and answered her phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi Quinny!" exclaimed Brittany. Quinn was suddenly wide awake.

"Hey B"

"Lord Tubbington has been smoking again but I can't find his stash"

"Is that why you called me B?"

"No. Can you give me a ride to school?"

"Sure B. Is there anything else you want?" asked Quinn. Brittany hesitated.

"B?..."

"Umm no. I have to go now Quinn. Lord Tubbington is reading my diary again"

"Bye" said Quinn and cut the phone. Why had Brittany hesitated? She would have to ask her later.

Rachel woke up and turned around to find Santana sleeping peacefully. She got up and whispered "I'm sorry but I have to do this" into Santana's ear and went to the bathroom. She looked for her emergency razor and found it. She slowly dragged it across her arm. Relief immediately flooded through her. 5 cuts later she finished and bandaged her arm up. Then she cleaned up and went to her bedroom, but not before hiding her last razor. When she went into her bedroom she found Santana sitting on her bed with a disappointed look on her face. Guilt washed over her but she decided to ignore it and pretend that everything was fine.

"Good morning Santana" said Rachel.

Oh so she was going to play this game thought Santana."Where's the last razor" asked the latina.

"I don't know what you're talking about" said Rachel.

"Don't pull this shit with me Rachel. Either you hand me that razor or I'll tear down that whole bathroom looking for it. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way." Rachel huffed, went to the bathroom, and gave Santana the razor.

"Stay here" she said and went downstairs to throw away the razor. When she came back Rachel was sat on the bed.

"Why did you do it?"

"I needed to."

"You could've just talked to me."

"It wouldn't have worked anyways and you would've just tried to stopped me" Rachel snapped.

"Oh would you just take your head out of your ass. Of course I would've stopped you. I'm not gonna watch you do this to yourself Frodo" snarled Santana.

"Well you're the reason I'm like this!" screamed Rachel and ran out. A few seconds later Santana heard the front door slam shut.

"What have I done?" she mumbled and got dressed. Then she headed out to look for the diva.

* * *

She didn't know where she was going, but it had to be as far away fro Santana as possible. She had called her Berry. Horrible memories replayed themselves in her head. Tears slowly streamed down her face. Her legs carried her to an abandoned park. She went to sit down on a bench. Why couldn't Santana understand her intentions? She needed to cut. It was apart of her.

* * *

Santana ran down the street. There was still no sign of Rachel. She decided to call Quinn.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sanny!"

"Britt why did you pick up Q's phone and where is she?"

"Quinn came to pick me up and go to school. She's upstairs, should I go and get her?"

"Yeah and put it on loud speaker so both of you can hear me"

"Okay… Quinn, Sanny called!"

"Coming" said Quinn.

"Is everything okay S?"asked Quinn.

"Umm… not exactly. It's Rachel"

"What happened?" asked Brittany concern growing in her voice.

"Well she cut again and we sort of had an argument about it. I yelled at her and accidentally called her Frodo and she stormed out of the house."

"Well you handled that situation perfectly" said Quinn sarcastically.

"Be nice" said Brittany.

"Whatever" said Quinn. Brittany looked at her with a hurt expression on her face. Quinn just ignored her.

"Look S I have no idea of where Rachel might be" said Quinn.

"The park" said Brittany.

"What did you say B?" asked Santana.

"There's an abandoned park around Rachel's area. Try there"

"Okay thanks. Bye"

"Bye!" said Brittany.

Santana set of to the park.

* * *

Puck was going to a friend's house to sort out some business when he spotted Rachel sitting on a bench by herself. Puck slowly approached her.

"What's up my fellow Jew?" asked Puck.

"Nothing Noah" mumbled Rachel. He spotted tears running down her face.

"Rachel what's wrong" he questioned, concern showing through his voice.

"Nothing" Rachel repeated.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I'm not" lied Rachel. Then Santana showed up.

"Hey Puck, what are you doing here?" asked Santana.

"I saw Rachel crying and decided to come and talk to her"

"Rachel we need to talk" said Santana.

"I don't want to talk to you" hissed Rachel. Puck flinched. He had never heard Rachel use that tone before.

"Puck can you go please?" said Santana.

"Okay but I want an explanation after."

Santana sighed. "Fine"

Rachel sat there on the bench. She was hoping Santana would leave however she didn't. She sighed. "What do you want Santana?" Santana sat on the bench.

"I just want to talk" Rachel just looked at her expectantly.

"I wanted to tell you that I'm so-"

"Don't" interrupted Rachel and got up to leave but Santana grabbed her wrist.

"Don't go" pleaded Santana. Rachel made no move to sit back down so Santana continued.

"I'm sorry for calling you Frodo"

"Well you've done it before" shot Rachel.

"And I regret every single time" responded Santana. Santana pulled Rachel onto her lap. She tensed up for a few seconds but then relaxed. She hid her face in Santana's neck. The latina instantly knew that she had been forgiven.

"I'm sorry for cutting again but I don't think I can stop, even if I wanted to"

"Then me, Quinn and B will help you stop" she said.

"It's not that easy" stated Rachel.

"I know" said Santana "That's why we're going to help you. Besides who told you that I like easy?" Rachel held onto Santana tightly.

"Promise me you won't leave me like everyone else did" whispered Rachel. Santana kissed Rachel's cheek causing her to blush.

"I promise baby girl." They sat there in silence for a few minutes until Santana spoke.

"What are we going to do about Puck?" she asked. Rachel's body stiffened.

"I don't know" Rachel mumbled.

"Do you want him to know?" said Santana. Of course she wanted him to know. Puck was like the older brother she never had. He stood up for her whenever it was possible.

"Yes" said Rachel.

"Okay, he can come over to your house tomorrow" she said softly. "Come on, let's go and get ready for school"

"But San I don't wanna go" whined Rachel.

"Rachel Berry doesn't want to go to school. What about her perfect attendance record?" gasped Santana.

"Screw my record, I wanna stay at home and sleep with you" said Rachel. She realized what she had said and blushed a deep red.

"Umm c-c-come on I'll you a piggy back ride home." Said Santana. Rachel squealed and hoped on Santana's back. Santana set off walking to Rachel's house whilst the diva went on and on about why they should stay home.

* * *

When Santana and Rachel got to Rachel's house they both got dressed and then headed down stairs for breakfast. Santana made herself and Rachel cereal before sitting down. She saw Rachel staring at her food but decided not to mention it. She didn't want to have another argument with the diva. When the latina had finished she cleaned up, and with a sigh, threw Rachel's breakfast away. Rachel gave Santana a grateful look but she knew she would have to talk about eating sooner or later. She would eventually be made to eat something. After, they both headed for school in Santana's car. Once they got there, they were both met by a worried looking Brittany and Quinn. Relief washed over them as they spotted Rachel. The two blondes ran up to her and hugged her.

"Don't ever scare us like that again!" exclaimed Quinn.

"Yeah Rachy, we were really worried." Said Brittany. Rachel shot a puzzled look at Santana.

"They kinda helped me find you." Admitted a sheepish Santana. They were about to go into school when Brittany noticed something.

"Rachy your shirt" said Brittany.

"Shit" said Quinn.

"San, I don't feel so good" said Rachel. And everything went black…

* * *

**Hope you liked this chapter. I'll try to update more.**


	9. Quick message

**I'm so sorry**

Ok so this isn't an update. I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in ages. I've been extremely busy with school etc. I know how you guys feel though. I get annoyed when another author doesn't update a story I really want to read. But I promise to update within the next 2 months. I'll make sure it's long. Well I'll try. But thank you all for being patient with me. I'll be sure to have another chapter up soon. But any suggestions?


End file.
